Top-10 turkeys of 2010

In 2010, audience indeed suffered in a big way when it comes to Bollywood dish being served to him. These were the films that were also complete no-shows at the box office and deservingly fell flat on their face. So without much ado, let’s look at some of the most horrendous films of 2010 that challenged audience’s sensibilities and left them with a heavy head once the end credits started rolling. Raavan There has to be something really flawed about a film which is based on ‘Ramayana’, has Mani Ratnam at the helm of affairs, stars the Bachchan couple, boasts of music by A.R. Rahman, has the who-is-who from the technical department and still doesn’t work. In fact it failed right from start to finish which was a pity because one did expect something fantastic coming out of the film. One had to hunt for instances in this Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan starrer where there was some bit of entertainment at the least. However, it turned out to be a rather poor film. And a boring one at that! Teen Patti Teen Patti was a classic case of an interesting one page concept taking a haphazard route at the overall scripting stage and going completely wayward in execution. Frankly, the drama becomes so disengaging after a point of time that it became more annoying than amusing; something which was a pity since this Amitabh Bachchan starrer showed quite some promise at its onset. The film was also a big letdown primarily due to a loose editing pattern. Scenes didn’t necessarily flow in a sequence while the much hyped interaction between Bachchan and Ben Kingsley too was totally forced. Hisss Hisss has to be the lousiest and most terrible film ever made in the ‘hissstory’ of Indian cinema. Ok, so this may sound like an emotional reaction but then it is the fact that emotions run really wild all through those agonising 100 minutes that one suffers this torture that goes by the name of Hisss. No filmmaker in his/her right intention is expected to attempt something like this which is a complete waste of time, effort and money. However, Mallika Sherawat and Co. did exactly that and came with an apology of a film in the form of Hisss.

Kites How bad can a film go? Especially when the people at the helm of affairs are none other than Rakesh Roshan, Anurag Basu and Hrithik Roshan. Well, let’s not be surprised if in case of Kites, one is forced to say – ‘Quite a lot’. When number of creative geniuses come together, there can very well be a situation when it only turns out to be a recipe for disaster rather than something which is a great enough dish to be relished. This is what exactly happened in case of Kites which was a Spanish-English film but was sold as Hindi cinema. Kuchh Kariye This must have been one film that would have made by a bunch of Sukhwinder Singh’s enemies who would have instigated the singer to come in front of the camera. Kuch Kariye was a terrible film where one saw Sukhwinder Singh sing, talk, narrate, debate and argue around anything and everything which was about ‘neeyat’ and ‘insaaniyat’. Either he did it all under his breath (in a rather poor dialogue delivery) or horribly tuned full throated songs. He was bad in both and yes, that’s an understatement. Ramaa – The Saviour ‘Come on, they can’t be serious’ – one ended up saying 20 minutes into Raama – The Saviour. Ok, so one doesn’t expect a moon from the film. However, the way Raama – The Saviour unfolded; you know that it was a totally compromised product which would have been better off stuck in the cans. One of the weakest films to have arrived in 2010, it had Saahil Khan in the title role who was required to be beefcake from start to finish. Though his Tarzan like persona required him to flash his 6 (or were they 8, 10 or 12) packs in practically every shot of his, it only turned repulsive after a point in time. Road, Movie This movie was a huge disappointment for the fans of Abhay Deol since one definitely expected yet another strong characterisation on the lines of a Dev D or Oye Lucky Lucky Oye. Unfortunately, Road, Movie was hardly the kind of film that fulfilled these expectations. Frankly, there have been incomprehensible movies in the past and there will be such movies in future as well but Road, Movie takes off on a different route altogether. Pun intended. This was a road trip that was much avoided by one and all. Hello Darling Now what was that? A comedy which was about sexual harassment at workplace, starred three leggy beauties like Gul Panag, Celina Jaitly and Essaha Koppikhar, had backing by none less than Subhash Ghai and was promoted as a chic flick, Hello Darling was expected to bring in laughs at regular intervals in its 100 minutes duration. The idea was to put in three shapely women and voila, a sex comedy was waiting to be served. But then what about a storyline? No wonder, an attempt at bringing to fore a serious subject (sexual harassment) in a comic vein failed, and how. Pankh Towards the interval point of Pankh, Bipasha Basu asks the lead actor Maradona – ‘Why don’t you ask audience about your real identity?’ The young man (who is confused about his sexuality) replies, – ‘In this film, I am the actor as well as the only viewer’. Well, he couldn’t have been more right! Frankly, this is not even the kind of film which could have enjoyed a successful journey through the festival rounds.

Out rightly repulsive, there is just no redeeming factor in Pankh which has to be the weirdest film to have come out of Bollywood this year. Sadiyaan Sadiyaan stayed true to its title. It was actually a ‘sadiyon purani kahaani’ and if one felt that there would be some nostalgic value attached to it, then that’s futile because there was none. Instead, what one suffered was one predictable scene after another which was narrated in a boring manner. Yes, it was okay to set a film in the late 60s but that that never meant that the scenes had to be copied-pasted from the cinema belonging to that era. No wonder, by the time one reached the middle of the film, there was exasperation, exhaustion and above all, frustration that set in.

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