Take Kareena Kapoor, who hogged the limelight for a mark on her back that apparently looked like a lovebite from Saif. And ultimately poor Bebo had to clear the air by stating that nobody gets a lovebite on their back. Well, no clue how many of her fans believed that explanation.
Like Bebo, many women prefer keeping the marks of passion under wraps, while there are others who get a high in putting them on display. Says Prachi Gupta, a Delhi-based research analyst, “I suppose deep down, every person wants to show off how satisfying his/her sex life is. And flaunting a lovebite is a straightforward way to tell the world about the passion a couple shares, which makes a girl feel more confident in her circle of friends.”
Be it putting your active and passionate love life on display or just going with the trend of being a bold love-maker who doesn’t mind giving a peep-show to those around – does it calls for such aggressive love making? Answers Mahinder Watsa, a sex expert, “Till both partners agree to be a part of sexual experimentation, it is normal. Some people are aggressive lovers, who don’t mind biting and scratching their partners. But, if it hurts the other and leaves visible wounds – it calls for attention and warning as the aggression can leave the other partner jittery or rather disinterested in the act.”
Sudipto Banerjee, a Mumbai-based advertising professional has a different take, “I think a lovebite is somewhere between sexual passion and sexual aggression – I call it possession. When I leave my girl with a prominent mark, I feel I have stamped her with my love. I take it as the display of my affection.”
However, it’s not necessary; your partner is as cool with the idea of getting a stamp of your love, which even hurts in some unfortunate cases. Deepika Mahajan, a Delhi-based-teacher who recently got married, didn’t have a happy love experience with her husband. Says she, “My husband was in a habit of biting whenever passion rode high. Initially, I couldn’t tell him as I thought he wouldn’t like it but soon it became unbearable and I started having an aversion to lovemaking.”
What should one do in such a situation? Answers Watsa, “It’s possible that a partner gets too harsh at times in the height of excitement, but if this is regular, the other partner must raise their voice. Begin by politely explaining to your partner that his form of love is hurting you. Some people get enjoyment out of hurting their partner while lovemaking, which is a kind of disorder. So, if you see such tendencies in your partner, don’t hesitate from getting psychological help before it gets too late.”
If you make a couple who doesn’t mind going with the flow and enjoy some aggression mixed with love, but at the same time are in no mood to get embarrassed by displaying those passionate marks, we have some quick tips to heal a love bite…
Dr. Anindita Vohra explains, “A love bite is an amassed patch of blood vessels that break open due to excessive sucking or nibbling on a region, which is usually temporary and subsides in some days. But still one can do some immediate treatments.”
1. Apply ice: Wrap a few ice-cubes in a towel and apply it around the lovebite. This will prevent swelling in the area. Rubbing ice directly over the area can turn it into frostbite and darken the colour so avoid doing that.
2. Spoon effect: This calls for some preparation before lovemaking. Keep a spoon inside the freezer before you get into the act. And in case you get bitten, rub the chilled spoon on the effected area in circular motion. Repeat it again after a couple of hours. The process will help break the small blood clots under your skin and aid the healing process.
3. ‘Wet’ rid of marks: Once the wound/swelling/bruise is heeled, the next step is to get rid of the marks. For this, take some warm water. Dip a piece of cloth in it and press the cloth on the lovebite for a few minutes. This will open up the blood vessels facilitating flow of more blood in the area by lessening the redness. Make sure your lovebite has healed before you do this.