He’s handsome, he’s witty, he’s successful… and he’s married! But will that stop other women from hitting on him? The answer is ‘No’, or so say a lot of women. But, what is it that increases the desirability quotient of a married man? His status clearly says he’s ‘taken’, then why do so many women still fall for him?
Safe to play with!
“From what I have seen, women think married men are safer then single men. They can have all the fun with them and yet not feel stuck in a committed relationship,” says legal consultant Prachi Malik. “Also, these women get all the advantages of being in a relationship without having to do his laundry, manage household chores, deal with his mood swings or have sex when he wants to. Those things are left for the wife to do,” she quips.
It’s a game
Some women also see it as a game of competition. Airhostess Stuti Behl shares her experience. “I once had a friend who was constantly hitting on a married man at her workplace. The day he started returning her glances, she felt so kicked. I saw her completely changed. She pursued it more seriously and then few months down the line dumped him. It was a kind of thrill that she got out of that relationship.”
Explains psychologist Samir Parikh, “It’s pure attraction for some. But, for some women who are low on self-esteem, it’s a way of feeling self-assured. It’s an achievement for them, a sort of an approval or validation that they are desirable to a man who has a woman to his disposal 24X7.”
Merely the fact that he has been taken make some women more tempted to pursue him. Marketing Manager Prashant Vig adds, “Men feel similarly with married women. It’s about tasting the forbidden fruit. It’s always difficult to resist that temptation.”
Some men invite such offers to get rid of boredom in their life. Agrees model Amanpreet Wahi, “Most of the married men around me who have extra-marital affairs shower their girlfriends with the best of gifts and treats. It’s like a desperate attempt to have something fresh in their lives.”
These men are also seen as sexually skilled since they are able to satisfy their wife’s sexual expectations. Says call centre executive Pooja Sinha (name changed), “This was the reason I felt terribly attracted to this guy at my workplace. We did have a short fling but then I couldn’t bear his constant blabbering about his wife. He was great in bed but I gave up on him.”
Warns relationship expert R K Mehra, “Women and men both should be wary of forming such relationships. It can prove to be highly risky for their mental health. Some try to get adventurous and end up losing their self-respect.”
Remember, you’re playing with fire!