Married Life: Things that go ‘bump’ in the night.

When I got married, I figured I had a handle on what to expect and whatever I didn’t, I’d figure out as I went along. Fortunately that innovative approach had worked, at least most of the time.
 
It all started on the first night when my wife, who many argue is made in Taiwan, managed to generate the sound of a choking piglet from her throat while she slept! (For those who haven’t read the entry, please click on the following link http://mymarriagemywifemylife.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html) It took some getting used to but being a compromising man I adjusted. Everything seemed under control and my sleeping habits were beginning to return to normal that is till last week.
 
In the dark of night when nothing in the entire city of London stirred let alone in our flat, my wife and I lay in our bed fast asleep. Suddenly, my wife bellows in a stern voice,
 
‘SUMIT! STOP IT!’
 
My eyes snapped open and confusion rained down upon me! It was pitch-black,
I was in my bedroom and my wife just let out a half shout. The question dawned on me.
‘What the hell is Sumit doing in our bedroom?’
 
As I turned over, my wife lay fast asleep. A little shaken by the sudden jolt, I took a few deep breaths and tried to get some sleep. The next morning my wife explained she had a dream where her brother was filling up a bag full of sweets and she didn’t like it. Apparently in her semi-conscious state she felt I should be a part of the dream. Thing is, it doesn’t stop there! The next night another yelp and the night after that I was commanded,
 
‘Chandru just play it, we’ve been waiting all day!’
 
This time she dreamt of me playing on the Playstation! So now, her sleep-talking has become a nightly occurrence and I have the good fortune of having a front row seat. However, the story doesn’t end there. Yesterday, Mrs. Bhojwani uncharacteristically decided to indulge in half a can of red bull and remained energetic throughout the day up until midnight. Fortunately its effects wore off time and she managed to get some sleep, that was until 3 am. All of a sudden I hear a scream and the bed shook violently. In a split second, my wife who lay flat on the mattress, leapt up, across and diagonally to my side by my feet! Confused and blurry eyed, I looked down and found her on all fours staring at her empty side of the bed. It was something straight out of The Exorcist!
 
‘There was something crawling on my neck!’ she shrieked in the blackness.
 
I later learned that she had a dream about a mouse which caused her to freak out in real life and age me by a decade! All I can say is ‘Red Bull gives you winged nightmares!’
 
Marriage Tip No. 18

Learn; ‘I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to leave this persons body now!’
 
Welcome to the midnight madness that is my married life!

About the author:

Born in Africa, Chandru grew up between Nigeria, India and the UK. With a Masters in International Business from the University of Westminster, he moved to New York where he worked as a Business Development Manager for three years. In 2002, he returned to Nigeria where he currently resides and runs a trading company. Chandru has been writing for Beyond Sindh (www.beyondsindh.com) since 2004 and has published numerous articles in the quarterly publication. His story entitled ‘The Love Letter’ won the Mirage Book short story contest and was published in an anthology titled Inner Voices in January 2009. His short story ‘Zero’ is scheduled to be published in the anthology Indian Voices towards the end of 2010.
 
In December 2009, Chandru’s first novel, ‘The Journey of Om’ was published in India by Cedar Books.
 
For more information on Chandru visit www.chandrubhojwani.com

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