Married Life: What a Ham!

When one lives a married life that exists pretty much in the air, you learn to adapt. Since we tied the knot, Mrs. B and I have been to India twice, the US, Nigeria and the UK in between and one of our biggest concerns when out of London is food! As a result we usually end up buying dry packed pastas, packet soups, frozen hams and sausages, which does the trick till we get settled at our destination. Until now Mrs.B’s cooking experience boiled down to burning toast and I do mean that literally, there were flames coming out of the toaster and she was trying to put it out by blowing on it like you would candles on a birthday cake.
Now things have changed as I’ve learned that she is a natural in the kitchen even if she doesn’t understand all the ingredients. For instance just today she decided to make some pasta and was kind enough to ask me what meats I would like in it. Unsure what my pallet yearned for I asked what choices I had. She lifted up the two packets and said my choices were;
‘Chorizo or…..Pro Chutiyo
After a moments pause we burst out laughing and she tried a couple more times and finally managed to say Prosciutto!
I wonder what’s next, Harami cheese?
Marriage Tip No. 34
Whenever your spouse is cooking you a meal, make sure it’s ‘Chutiya’ free!
Welcome to my tasty married life!

About the author:

Born in Africa, Chandru grew up between Nigeria, India and the UK. With a Masters in International Business from the University of Westminster, he moved to New York where he worked as a Business Development Manager for three years. In 2002, he returned to Nigeria where he currently resides and runs a trading company. Chandru has been writing for Beyond Sindh ( since 2004 and has published numerous articles in the quarterly publication. His story entitled ‘The Love Letter’ won the Mirage Book short story contest and was published in an anthology titled Inner Voices in January 2009. His short story ‘Zero’ is scheduled to be published in the anthology Indian Voices towards the end of 2010.
In December 2009, Chandru’s first novel, ‘The Journey of Om’ was published in India by Cedar Books.
For more information on Chandru visit

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