Marketing for “Fifty Shades of Grey” has been brilliant. it opened in 58 countries simultaneously and pulled in 158 million dollars in one long Valentines weekend. As delighted as Universal Studios execs are, we wonder if people who paid to see the film are anywhere near as satisfied. We were lucky to be invited to a screening and agree with Madonna that the movie was NOT sexy. Jamie Dornan’s character Christian was rather prissy and kept hinting there was a dark reason for his dominant predilections, but we never learned what it was. In fact, there really was no plot. It was like half a book was filmed, and the overly long movie ended abruptly without much happening. Of course, negative word of mouth won’t matter, because big money has already been made.

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