Though many believe it is only an excuse for a philandering celebrity, experts say sex addiction is, indeed, a mental disorder. And in an era when the net takes pornography into every household, it will only become a bigger problem...

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at," Jimmy Demaret, the celebrated twentieth century American golfer, had joked. By all reports and guesstimates, another golfer and the man of the moment, Tiger Woods, is good at both. Reports of Woods checking into at a sex addiction clinic in Mississippi prompt the question on the minds of many: Is there such a thing as sexual addiction - or are men like Woods merely taking advantage of the many opportunities that come their way? Experts in matters of the birds and bees insist sex addiction is indeed an obsessive compulsive disorder like any other. "It does exist. It's a personality disorder by and large where one's desires become uncontrollable, needs unquenchable and behaviour compulsive," says Dr Prakash Kothari, advisor to the World Association for Sexology.

Described as satyriasis in men and nymphomania in women (this is rarer), the addiction is classified as a personality disorder by psychiatrists. And there are individuals in the clasp of an OCD that has zero social tolerance - they may recognise their behaviour as at odds with society, but are blatant about carrying them through, unmindful of reactions.

"Polygamous behaviour is common. A sex addict, however, lives at an animalistic level. The behaviour is unevolved and the individual does not grow in a relationship with anyone. He or she is auto-sexual," says Mumbai-based Dr Rajan Bhonsle, head of department of sexual medicine, KEM Hospital and G S Medical College. The line between a healthy sexual appetite and an addiction is based, in part, on how much time you spend on sex and fantasies. The current definition of addiction comes from Patrick Carnes, 'the father of the sexual addiction movement' and the therapist whose staff is reportedly treating Woods.

Carnes, who directs the sexual-addiction program at Pine Grove Behavioural Health and Addiction Services in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, defines the addiction: "If you're spending over 14 hours a week doing something sexual or quasi-sexual, like cruising the internet for porn or cruising the streets looking for a particular type of prostitute, you're in the addictive range."

There is, however, no 'one size fits all' definition for sex addiction. Individuals may be hooked to pornography, masturbation, multiple partners or just a fetish. A 45-year-old executive from the pharmaceutical industry managed to 'fall in love' with any woman at any given opportunity. As a young man who barely made Rs 20,000 a month, he spent Rs 6 lakh on bar girls in just six months. Another example is that of a successful man in his 30s who has zero interest in women. Of all the things on this increasingly warm planet, he fancies men's wigs. "I am only attracted to men's artificial hair. I have a collection of wigs which I fondle. That's my sex life," he told a psychiatrist.

If this isn't extreme enough, look at this seemingly normal, successful businessman in his forties. He would insist on sex with his wife for a full 45 minutes. She was fed up and asked him to satiate his desires elsewhere. He took her advice and actually started visiting prostitutes, who too began to dodge his insurmountable demands after a few escapades. Even that didn't stop this businessman from visiting a urologist to get himself fitted with an inflatable penile implant.

"A penile implant has two cylinders with a switch in the testicles. Once you press the switch, it hardens," says Dr J Lalmalani, urologist at Jaslok Hospital, who had another 85-year-old "patient" visit him with a similar request. "He couldn't walk without a walking-stick but said he wanted to lie down and enjoy it." He was in an ICU for a while after the operation, but "then he lived happily ever after," laughs Lalmalani.

Sexual addiction is no laughing matter, though. A serious handicap, it keeps addicts from a normal life. What makes this addiction particularly problematic is that there is no public support for the sex addict as there is for people who are addicted to food, alcohol, drugs or gambling.

Unlike the West, there are no exclusive rehabilitation homes or counselling organisations in India. Says Dr Ashit Sheth, honourary professor or psychiatry at Bombay Hospital, "Sex addiction is a big problem abroad. First of all, there is more loneliness there."

Most rehabs in the so-called developed world use a 12-step programme like Alcoholics Anonymous. Nearly 20,000 addicts from across the world are currently seeking help at the Houston-based Sex Addicts Anonymous, where the first step is to admit your issues in front of supportive people. Other therapists treat patients with cognitive-behavioural therapy and even antidepressants, which blunt the sex drive.

Testosterone is 'the' hormone for sexual desire, says Bhonsle, "it has to be suppressed. But it's used only as the last resort in patients who behave in an unruly manner otherwise." In India, psychiatrists use behaviour therapy or counselling and some may prescribe anti-psychotic drugs for de-addiction. "No addiction can be treated unless the person wants to get rid of it. The person should be adequately motivated," says Bhonsle.

So, forced into secrecy, sex addicts take the only way they know. They try the white knuckle or cold turkey cures. They apply all their willpower because they have to keep making a living. They lie to themselves promising that they will change. "This will be my last time!" they swear. But, alas, it never is.

Just doing it
According to a 2004 'Dateline' report, over 16m men and women in the world suffer from sex addiction, around 80 per cent of them are men, many of them celebrities.

The signs

Do you...
Watch excessive pornography and stock porn at your workplace or at home? Feel powerful while having sex, and feel depressed afterwards? Demand sex from your partner regardless of time or situation? Not show any intimacy during or after sex because all you want is your feeling of ecstasy?

This is the season for single men to be out looking for lovely single girls. Thanks to everyone dressing up in an attractive and similar manner, it does become tough for the men to figure out who is who and if they are, at all, single!

Wondering how to discover if the women you are interested in is single? Fox News has come up with several hints.

She's full of eye contact: If her eye contact is darting all over the room as if looking for potential mates, you may be able to approach her because usually people who are already in a relationship don't bother to look around much.

She's making eye contact with you and smiling: Eye contact is usually one of the first signs of interest, and if she's making intense eye contact with you from across the bar, then chances are she wants you to head on over and give her a try.

She's talking to every guy in the bar: If you see her talking to many guys from a distance, it may mean that she's open to conversation.

She looks at other couples with sadness: If you're observing her from afar and you notice her looking at other couples, she could be longing for the days when she was once also attached.

Her body language says it all: Body language says a lot about a person. If she is not single, then chances are she won't be twirling her hair and touching other men ever so casually. Try to observe what her body language is saying:
Arms crossed, standing back: "Get away or I'll kick my heel in your face."
Touches your arm or leg subtly or her own arm (she wants you to touch her): "Let's keep talking."

She's a chatterbox: If you start talking to a woman you work with, for example, and in one conversation she tells you that she has a dog named Max, does a lot of cooking, goes to the gym every week, and takes art lessons, chances are she doesn't have a man to come home to.

Out with the girls... again: Single women tend to go out and have fun with their girlfriends. If you see the same girl out with her friends more than once at the same bar, within a short period of time, chances are she's solo.

She dances with other men: If the two of you frequent the same club and she's often seen dancing with different men (but you know she came with the same group of female friends she always comes with), it's likely that she's dancing to her own tune, unless her and her boyfriend have a very "open" relationship.

She's overly friendly: Generally women who are not single tend to be less friendly with other men. If you notice that a woman is very sweet and friendly with most men she encounters, it's possible that she's single.

Spot a single woman with stealth: You can always find out whether a woman is single by approaching her and asking for her number; she may say she already has a boyfriend, and whether or not that's true is a toss up - but it's always worth a try. Although it's difficult to directly approach a woman, you can use the aforementioned hints as clues to her status.

There might be ample qualities that make men irresistible. But women being the fairer sex have created certain stereotypes in men that they would never want to be seen with.

We list the most common kinds of men that women love to hate...

Thumbs down to dominant men : Gone are the days when a male dominated society used to be the way of life. So, if the next time you try to show your superiority in front of your girl, it might land you in a tight spot. Women prefer mates who're recognized by their peers for their skills, abilities, and achievements – and not those who use coercive tactics to subordinate their rivals, reveals a new study.

Expert says : Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counsellor says, “Dominant behaviour is highly opposed by a female partner as she wants to enjoy the bond with equal respect. In any relationship, if one partner tries to have the upper hand in taking all decisions and if they portray their dominant self, it will not do any good to that relationship.”

Macho guys aren’t always lucky : A macho guy with an angry young man personality might look good on silver screen, but when it comes to real life, women aren’t game to hang around with macho dudes. A recent study claims that macho guys don't always get the girls. The study further revealed that the most aggressive guys ended up with fewer wives and children.

Expert says : Personality development expert Varun Chhabra says, “Women today are more keen to pick a guy who flaunts a good body combined with a metro sexual image rather than the typical rough and tough hunk. Men who look tough from the outside and bear a soft heart within are women’s favourite.”

Keep sex starved men at bay : Men are usually sexually more charged up. But when it comes to choosing a mate, women don't opt for a sexually ravenous partner. This is maybe because for such men, sex is the top priority in the relationship whereas the woman continuously seeks love and romance, sans physical intimacy.

Expert says : Relationship and sex counsellor Dr. Geetu Bhardwaj shares, “It’s not that women are not keen to have sex with their partner, but a man’s sexual inclination does plan an important role when it comes to choosing their partner. Women generally aren’t too comfortable with the idea of being with a man who has sex on his mind throughout the day. In such relationships, things like understanding and love are secondary and sexual intimacy is all that matters for the male partner.”

Chauvinism is out completely : Remember Bobby Deol’s chauvinistic character in Dostana, which was enough to drive his lady nuts. An excess of anything is bad. Women don’t find a chauvinistic man a great companion to spend the rest of their lives with.

Expert says : Dr. Ratan Kumar, a clinical psychologist asserts, “There is a very thin line of demarcation between being a gentleman and chauvinist. A girl might love your care and concern, but your over chauvinistic attitude may irritate her at times. Make an attempt to give enough space to her and let the comfort zone be there as per mutual convenience.”

Using slangs won’t take you anywhere : Using abusive lingo every time you indulge in a conversation might lend you a cool dude look cool in front of your male peers, but girls don’t want to hang around with a abusive man. Being too abusive and stressing on using slangs too often is a ‘turn off’ for today’s women.

Expert says : Psychiatrist Dr. Anupam Randhawa states, “Men need to realise that a woman would like to be associated with a respectful and well-behaved mate. So using excess of slang language and abusive words during conversations can backfire. The reason why women keep such partners at bay is because they find it offensive when their man gets abusive as it comes as a gesture of disrespect to the relationship.”

Did you know great sex, if it is within a mutually monogamous relationship, may be one of the ultimate mood boosters?

In fact, semen contains powerful – and potentially addictive – mood-altering chemicals, including testosterone, estrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone, and prostaglandins. So although sex won't cure depression, it may boost mood if some of these chemicals are absorbed through the walls of the vagina.

Sex is only a mood booster if it's safe and mutually monogamous. Although women who do not use condoms during sex are less depressed, according to research, that doesn't mean they should practice unsafe sex. Studies have found no correlation between high-risk sexual behavior and lower rates of depression.

And good sex isn't the only recipe for happy days and contented nights. Feel free to explore other options, like volunteering, exercising regularly, spending time with good friends, laughing with loved ones, writing in a journal, and otherwise engaging in activities that you find fulfilling. Taking good care of your health can also make you happy. After all, nothing can put a smile on your face like a good report from your doctor.