The Air Condtion of Marriage

It seems I learned far too late that my wife can’t tolerate the air conditioner, while I on the other hand, can’t sleep without it! So as it happens, during my first few nights of my married life, the once hypnotic hum of the AC was now accompanied by my wife’s sneezes, sniffing and that God awful frog in the throat/choking piglet sounds that could scare the dead!

Being the kind and considerate (tall, dark and handsome) husband that I am, I made several attempts to find middle ground. Initially, I used to take two blankets and wrap her in them like a cosy falafel, before going to bed myself. Unfortunately that plan met with little success especially when I found that she had kicked off the blankets in the middle of the night. Still, I stayed persistent and shared the light bed spread I used to cover myself, only to have her pull that off me in her sleep and forcing me try and stay warm by sleeping in the foetal position. Next, I added a heavy quilt to my human Lebanese delight of a wife, but she screamed that it was too heavy and she couldn’t move. She took to sleeping with a hoodie and a scarf while I increased the temperature of the AC which is now at 20 Degrees, but that too wouldn’t suffice.

Finally, we found some middle ground. Amidst the sweltering Mumbai summer heat, I now switch off the AC in the early hours and replace it with the fan. This way, we both manage to sleep a little.

Marriage Tip 2:

Find out what the stance is on Air Conditioning before tying the knot!

Then we arrive at this morning (16th March). It’s been a couple of weeks after our wedding and in to our Air Conditioning roller coaster. As usual, I woke up early, switched off the AC and turned on the fan. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I took a few moments to getting my bearings right. Meanwhile, the tiny Mrs. Chandru Bhojwani, who has her legs sticking out of the blankets and lay under a mountain of pillows, sends out a muffled command,

‘TURN THE AC ON!’

Welcome to my married life!