Why God invented Twitter

 140 character prayers help Him to keep up with the work

For years people have been send their long-winded prayers to God so he invented the 140 character prayer and called it Twitter.
 

When Jim Carey tries filing cabinets, post-it notes and email to answer prayers, the job is too big.
People send these verbose prayers like “God, you are the most wonderful and powerful God in the universe and I worship you and adore you all the time. You alone are the most high.”
Bingo, you’re at 140 characters without getting to the point. God invented Twitter to cut through the preamble and get to what you really want.  
 
“Dear God send $10,000 soon luv ya.”  or “Dear God please get rid of my brother who stole my dinky toys” or “Dear God help me to get over this headache cheers”. The Twitter rule works – keep it short keep it simple.
There’s no use in saying all that “I worship you” stuff because he knows how selfish most of us are.
The only problem with God on Twitter is that there are hundreds of people pretending to be God, just like in real life. You’ve got you choice of God, Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah, Buddah and all the usual suspects. Good luck.

Click HERE to read more columns by Stephan Pate.

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