PMO Ignores Queries about Drunk Teen Attended by Paramedics

The Prime Minister’s Office is still ignoring queries asking where Stephen Harper or his wife were at the night when paramedics were called to their official residence to take care of an intoxicated 18-year-old girl found just outside the driveway. According to several reliable sources, the call was made on early Sunday morning, whereas there was a night pool-house party at the residence on Saturday night to mark the 18th birthday of Stephen Harper’s elder son, Ben.

Upon inquiry via email from the prime minister’s spokesman, Jason MacDonald, he responded that “I have nothing to add to your story.” The PMO is being consistently oblivious to several important questions including the whereabouts of Mr. Harper or Mrs. Harper over the weekend, or if the prime minister would like to give any comment on underage drinking in light of Conservative attack ads on Justin Trudeau’s pot legalization policy.

On the other hand, paramedics have confirmed that they were called by the RCMP to the prime minister’s residence around 1 a.m. in regard to a drunk young woman near the property’s west gate. A young woman who unambiguously attended the party confirmed that there were about 20 of Ben Harper’s friends and sports teammates at the party, many wearing swimsuits. Devon von Eicken-Bursey, whose boyfriend plays volleyball with Ben, said that “it was just a hanging out, a get-together” and “there was some drinking and mixing and stuff” but “we were all very controlled.”

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