Married Life: To Eat or Not to Eat

As we contended with the Hawaiian sun and recuperated from a morning underwater, the wife and I decided to grab a meal at Outback Steakhouse. We considered getting their patented ‘Awesome Blossom’ but opted for calamari and some ribs instead. As we waited Mrs. B regaled me with the finer points of the British legal system and her road to becoming a solicitor.
Once the food arrived, all forms of conversation came to an end as we chomped down. As I enjoyed thebarbecued meat right off the bones, Mrs. B selectively nibbled on the circular morsels of friend calamari. Raising my eyebrow I gave her a confused look to which she responded with;
‘I think like the round bits, I don’t like to eat the legs.’
Placing the half eaten rib on the plate I looked back up at while dabbing the napkin on my grease stained lips.
‘It’s all the same, it’s all calamari.’ I assured her.
Shaking her head she remained resolute in her stance. I encouraged her to try it but she continued to refrain from eating the ‘legs’. I told her that it wasn’t legs since calamari don’t have legs to which she came back with;
‘I only want to eat the round bits, I don’t want to eat the testicles!’
I almost choked on the rootbeer upon hearing that. Once the laughter died down she corrected herself and said she meant ‘tentacles’…..or did she?
Marriage Tip No. 24
Drinking & Discussing Marine Cephalopods can be hazardous to your health!
Welcome to our Freudian Slip of a married life.

About the author:

Born in Africa, Chandru grew up between Nigeria, India and the UK. With a Masters in International Business from the University of Westminster, he moved to New York where he worked as a Business Development Manager for three years. In 2002, he returned to Nigeria where he currently resides and runs a trading company. Chandru has been writing for Beyond Sindh ( since 2004 and has published numerous articles in the quarterly publication. His story entitled ‘The Love Letter’ won the Mirage Book short story contest and was published in an anthology titled Inner Voices in January 2009. His short story ‘Zero’ is scheduled to be published in the anthology Indian Voices towards the end of 2010.
In December 2009, Chandru’s first novel, ‘The Journey of Om’ was published in India by Cedar Books.
For more information on Chandru visit

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