Baby Diaries: The Born Observation

Now that I’m six weeks in, or rather, out, I’ve made a few observations. I get the feeling that the general belief is to expose a newborn to music however I really doubt they meant ‘The Doody Song’ remixed by my Papa, the chunky one. What’s worse is that the chinky one has joined in too! So now when while I hover over the sink completely exposed with water splashing against my bum, I get the Doody Song in surround sound! Is it any surprise that I end up in tears pretty much every time?
The duo then tries to calm me down by singing to me. Chinky tells Chunky to sing me a lullaby and let’s be Frank, he’s not Sinatra. He shrugs and tries to sing me to sleep with a lullaby. So, what does he choose to sing me? Rock a Bye Baby? Hush Little Baby? No! He subjects me to a lullaby rendition of, Ice Ice Baby!
When that doesn’t work, the couple takes a more traditional approach by opting for that chart topper, Rock a Bye Baby. Only that sends me in to another bawling fit and let's be honest, are you surprised? I mean, have you ever paid attention to the lyrics? It’s about a baby sleeping in a tree and being knocked down by the wind cradle and all! That’s the stuff of nightmares for babies people, what were you thinking?

And another thing; Poopy Monster? Fart Pants? Really? That's your plan for instilling confidence?

About the author:
Born in Africa, Chandru grew up between Nigeria, India and the UK. With a Masters in International Business from the University of Westminster, he moved to New York where he worked as a Business Development Manager for three years. In 2002, he returned to Nigeria where he currently resides and runs a trading company. Chandru has been writing for Beyond Sindh ( since 2004 and has published numerous articles in the quarterly publication. His story entitled ‘The Love Letter' won the Mirage Book short story contest and was published in an anthology titled Inner Voices in January 2009. His short story ‘Zero’ is scheduled to be published in the anthology Indian Voices towards the end of 2010.
In December 2009, Chandru’s first novel, ‘The Journey of Om’ was published in India by Cedar Books.
For more information on Chandru visit

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