The Trick That Got The Indian Railway Budget on Track

The critics, religiously doing their jobs of criticizing anything and everything around them, gave the Railway budget its due share of criticism. Most prominent being the budget is too lopsided on Bengal and that Bengal is being showered with trains because of upcoming elections there. But no one knows the inside story – so far, that is.

An intercepted call revealed how the budget would have been derailed had it not been for presence of mind of the caller. Excerpts of the tape:

"Madam, How are you? Its been long since we saw you”

" Chup karo, Who are you? I am busy with election preparations. Call later"

"Sorry to disturb. I am calling from Railway Ministry"

"What Railways?"

"Railways, Madam! You are the Railways Minister. Last year you had presented a budget for it in the Parliament, remember?"

"What Parliament?"

"You are its elected member, Madam."

"Ok, ya, whatever, I want to be elected CM of Bengal, rest all is crap. Now tell me what is it you have disturbed me for?"

"Madam, we have to prepare the Railway budget, when are you going to come to Delhi?

"Bokka, If Delhi has some work, it comes to Kolkata. Everybody knows that. Where is Pronobda, tell him whatever is needed and he will take care of everything."

"Madam, he is busy with his own budget. He has asked us to directly talk with you"

"This is a conspiracy of Congress to distract me, they need Left parties support to survive, Tumi jano na. I will not tolerate this. I will take out a rally in Kolkata against this."

"Madam that was UPA-I, now in UPA-II it’s not Left parties but your party which is supporting Congress."

"Tai naki? Bhule gechi! Oh! Yes! But still see how they are behaving. They know I’m on a mission to dislodge the Left parties from Writer’s Building. Anyways, what was it you had called me for?"

" Railway Budget, Madam. We need to discuss it with you."

"What is it that needs to be discussed?

"Madam, we have made the budget and get the opinion of.."

"The opinion is of course in my favor. All opinion polls say so. But the results are not being given due publicity in media. I will not tolerate this; we are planning a massive rally in Kolkata, we will drive the media out of Bengal. Now what was it that you had called me you said, tada tadi korbo, you are wasting my time?"

"The Railways bud.."

"Oh, the Railways is disturbing me from my work. I will not tolerate this, I will take out a rally against it and drive it out of Bengal."

"But Madam, you are the Railway Minister, you cannot protest against your own department!"

"Ki abol tabol bole jaaccho, I can do anything I want, nobody can control me. Ask Bajpayeeji or Soniaji if I listen to anybody. I will not tolerate intolerance towards my intolerance"

"Ok Madam. But if you can just give two days for making the Budget and presenting it, we will not disturb you until next year. It is a request, please Madam."

"I dont have time for budget vudget, eishob parbo na. I am preparing for Bengal elections. If you need help, put if off till Bengal elections"

"Madam, that is not possib… aaa. Madam, what if the budget can help you make more popular in Bengal? And help you get more seats in Bengal? It’s a golden opportunity Madam"

"Ki Bolcho? How is wasting my time in Delhi going to help me get more seats?"

"Very easy, Madam. We make a budget that gives lots of importance to Bengal…more trains for it, more stations, factories, employment promises..people happy with you…more votes for you…Left parties lose..you become the new CM of Bengal…"

"Hmmm, ok. Your idea seems good, I will give you three hours for discussing the budget with me and one day for presenting it in the Parliament. But make sure the budget is made only for the Bangali Bhodrolok.”

“Ok, sure Madam. Thank you for giving the time.”

“Call Pronobda, ask him to arrange a special charter plane for me from Kolkata to Delhi."

So had it not been for the caller’s idea of giving few more trains for Bengal, there would have been no railway budget till Bengal elections. Shotti bolchi!!

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