This article was last updated on April 16, 2022
Illustrated by Anna Sudit.
Even if you think you’re not kinky, there’s a chance your brain might be. And when it comes to getting turned on and orgasming, our brains deserve more credit than they often get.
Not only are sexual fantasies totally normal, but they allow us to explore our sexuality in a space that’s super safe: our imaginations. For couples in long-term relationships, sharing sexual fantasies with one another can renew excitement, writes certified sex therapist Marty Klein in an article about erotic role-playing. But whether they’re shared with a partner or kept in mind for solo pleasure, sexual fantasies can be pretty fantastic.
While some fantasies — such as having sex in a romantic or unexpected location — are fairly common, others are completely random or personal. Whatever your sexual fantasy is, though, it’s probably not as out-of-the-ordinary as you might think.
To give you a peek into what actual people are fantasizing about (because who isn’t wondering, right?), we asked readers and R29 staffers to anonymously share their go-to sexual fantasy. So read on and dream on, y’all.
“My S.O. and I (haven't been together too long, so we are still exploring) recently discovered that we are both really turned on by the idea of pegging. I've never been interested in being a dominant, but he brings it out in me — oh my god, does that ever do it for me. A bit of slapping, nails, bossing him around, telling him what to do, bending him into some compromising positions, spanking, role reversal, maybe some dress up, and some solid pounding (him receiving) to finish it off. We are slowly starting to integrate all these into our sex life. I'm a happy camper. I love thinking about it, does it for me every time.”– ForgetThePlan via Reddit
“I always imagine the same thing, that I'm some sort of sex goddess that's come to Earth to enslave it. It starts with one guy in a filthy alley, but every time a guy comes, I drain his strength and become more powerful. Then I'm in a shopping center and I'm with a guy in a clothing store, then I'm with several guys at a gym (first the owner, then his brother, then a guy in the gym with the rest of the people there watching and masturbating). After that I usually head into a newsroom and hijack the live feed, having sex with the news anchor, and having more and more people tune in, masturbate, and orgasm to make me stronger. There's a lot more details to it; every guy is a different body type, though I don't really see faces. Every time I imagine one of them cumming inside me I also imagine myself growing stronger and I feel a sort of rush.” –throwaway08525 via Reddit
“I'd love to be completely dominated. There are many ideas about it, but mostly it starts the same. He comes into the room, his sleeves rolled up, he has a watch around his wrist. I am sitting on my knees on the ground. He holds a rope (or belt, depends) in his hand and I close my eyes as I kiss it. Whatever he does, my fantasies always include choking/hard spankings/control/biting. I like it when I have no power. It makes me feel so free.” – Anonymous via Reddit
“I really want to have sex in a high rise window. Like at least 50 floors up.” – mynameistoast via Reddit
“A guy crying hard as I comfort him, make it all better, and then fuck him while his tears are still drying.” – Juliet11 on Reddit
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