This article was last updated on June 18, 2022
Each one of us crave for sharing the bed with our beloved every night. Waking up with the spouse after a satisfying night is undoubtedly a fulfilling experience .
However, for some couples the beautiful thought can be a nightmare too, thanks to the habits of either of the partners.
Have you ever imagined that habits you often ignore as trivial can be really bothersome for your partner? Not only they are annoying but can also take the fizz out of your bedroom life.
So, here’s a low down on some of the most common yet vexing bedroom habits that you must get away with:
Irritating idiot box!
Relationship counselors suggest that having a television, music system or computer in your bedroom; can influence your love life, thanks to the distractions that come along with these entertainment churners.
Kritika Deshpande, a call centre executive says, “My husband enjoys the erotic sounds that I make while making love. But since we live in a joint family with my in-laws in the adjacent bedrooms, we usually keep the volume of television a little high to restrict the sounds. And it works for us, but in past few weeks, I noticed that while we are into action, my hubby tries to get a glimpse or two of the background entertainer. At times it affects the intensity of his involvement and I really find it disappointing.”
Hot Tip: Dr Kamal Khurana, marriage and relationship counselor suggests, “The idea of watching some erotic clips together and making out with soft music in background works for many couples, but it may not help all. Your involvement in lovemaking session indicates your love and dedication towards your relationship. So try to keep these distractions away from your mind and your surroundings while you are involved in pleasurable activities with your beloved.”
It’s my turn honey!
If you believe that is it only women who expect their partners to undress them passionately, you need to think again!
According to normal perception, it’s always men who approach women for sex and are expected to help them in dressing down. “But can’t we expect the same?” asks Suresh Awasthi, a Delhi based marketing executive adding, “Many times, I noticed my girl getting upset when she is ready for the act and I am still busy unbuttoning my clothes. But, why am I always supposed to strip off on my own? Can’t she help me? I am glad; she understood my problem when I spoke to her about this. Now, even she undresses me as passionately and dramatically, as I do. It might appear as a misconception to many, but the act makes me feel more desirable and gives me a kick to perform better.”
Hot tip : Dr Khurana tells, “A lot of couples that come to me have confessed hiding their desires because of hesitation. My only advice to such people is to speak up. Many times things that we tend to ignore are really important for our partner. Most of the times, we also expect our partner to know what we want even without saying. Since that is impossible, we get nothing but disappointment in return. So, learn that the only way out is – to talk about it.”
‘Forcing won’t help’
Oral sex is one of the top-priorities in the fantasy lists of majority of men. May be your woman also loves the act as you do but forcibly asking for it, will not solve your purpose.
Rahet Sharma, homemaker tells, “In our courtship period, my husband confessed his fantasy of seeing me in that submissive position and performing oral sex. However, I was not so cool with the idea but post marriage I decided to give it a shot. More than the act itself, it was the satisfied look on my partner’s face that made me feel elated. The only thing that annoys me now is that his demands have become frequent and he even forces me at times. I find it really derogatory and it puts me off completely.”
Hot Tip: Dr Himanshu Saxena, relationship counselor opines, “Everybody has his/her own set of desires and fantasies, but forcing your partner for its realisation seems fairly selfish. Though you love oral sex, however, pushing your partner for it is somewhat like disrespecting her. The idea is to seduce her and let her crave for you. If you compel your beloved for an act, it might not be pleasurable for both of you.”
Are you through?
How many times have we read that in bed, actions speak louder than words? Apparently, not everybody is aware of the rule.
Nikhil Gupta, who works with a Mumbai based MNC confesses, “I agree that the way men and women reach the big ‘O’ is completely different. But what upsets me is when my girl asks me ‘are you finished?’ This is the last thing anybody would like to listen when we are at the pinnacle of pleasure. When I easily get to know that she has climaxed then is it too difficult for her too comprehend if I’ve got my thrills or not?”
Hot tip: “You need to surrender yourself completely to reach orgasm. The partners will attain the state of satisfaction, once both of them are completely into it. Many people have this tendency to confirm in-between and it becomes really embarrassing for the other partner. So if you are facing the issue, then all you need is some fine-tuning as it’s not that difficult to know that your beloved want some more,” says Dr Saxena.
Sharing bed with a monster!
A loud-snoring partner who disturbs you every night is definitely not less than a monster. To make it worse, some people have some strange sleeping habits that may annoy you.
Vishesh Pandit, businessperson tells, “In winters, my wife prefers to sleep with her cap, sweater and socks on. To make it worse, she sleeps in such an awkward position that I am considering getting extra bedding for me.”
Ragini Shastri, copy editor with a media house says, “In past three years, I have spent many sleepless nights just because my husband snores heavily. I have tried everything from cotton buds to headphones, but nothing seems to help. And because of inadequate sleep, I feel irritated and tired and in the morning I end up fighting with him. These days I try to sleep before him. Though, I get a good sleep this way but we miss upon the action between the sheets.”
Hot Tip: Anu Goel, relationship expert tells, “It may sound strange but many times such petty issues can lead to consequences as grave as divorce. Many couples start sleeping in different rooms if either of them snores or has a bad sleeping posture. So firstly, try to convince your partner about the seriousness of the problem, not only for your relationship but for his/her well being too. If that doesn’t help, take medical help if needed. At times, clearing nasal passage, elevating the head of your bed or reducing alcohol intake may also help”
Hit me baby one more time!
Some people love to get wild in bed. Loud sounds, handcuffs and love bites…they love it all. But what about the partner, is he/she an equal sport?
Chetan Sahay, copywriter with an advertising agency says, “My wife loves it when it comes to experimentation in bed. However, as a guy I should love it but at times her craving for hot, wild encounters discomfit me. She loves to tie my hand with bed and take the lead in the act. I do enjoy it at times, but I really don’t look forward to so much of dramatisation every other night. In fact, it is embarrassing to hide those love bites next morning at work.”
Hot Tip: “It is important to help each other in enacting the fantasies but you should know where to draw the line. Saying ‘no’ at times will not harm your relationship. If there is something that you are really uncomfortable with, just sit across the table with your beloved, create the right environment and express your opinion,” Dr Saxena explains.