Blog 10 Things I Hate About Bollywood

1. Overrated Actors & Actresses

About 80% of the actors/actresses in Bollywood can’t act. I mean Katrina Kaif is pretty, yes, but let’s face it, she can’t act to save her life. Shahrukh Khan and Salman Khan are good looking? From where? Salman Khan has a small head with a big body and somehow looks more like an orangutan than he does human and Shahrukh Khan who is in his 40’s is trying to make movies where he is doing thumkas to Chammak Chalo.

2. No Story Line

India’s film industry is the 2nd largest in the world as it produces about 300 movies a year, but how many of them actually hit the box office? With a few exceptional political movies, 90% of Bollywood movies comprise of senseless dancing and never ending songs on mountain tops, rainy gardens and beaches. If there is ever a plot, it turns out to be a rip off of some Hollywood movie. Why people watch such movies when you have an option to watch thought provoking movies like Primal Fear, Shawshank Redemption and Goodwill Hunting is really beyond me.

3. Glamorized Depiction of India

Bollywood movies tend to glamorize India showing a make belief world of fashion, clubs and the elite. This takes away from the fact that India has a very high rate of poverty and instead of the dazzling lights we see in Bollywood flicks, India is bathed with slums.

4. Unrealistic Endings

Yes Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was a cute movie, but seriously in what world would a man tell his fiance on their wedding day at the marriage alter that she could go marry her best friend instead, as he is the true love of her life. Most Bollywood movies have such dramatic and far-fetched endings that they are times extremely unrealistic.

5. Pakistan’s Obsession with Bollywood celebrities

I fail to understand how people in Pakistan have the time to follow bollywood celebrity’s lives. Whether it was Ashwariya’s wedding, her baby’s delivery or Katrina’s break up with Salman Khan, the whole of Pakistan seemed to be following it. Facebook and Twitter statuses are updated every half an hour, television and newspapers give them coverage, I mean For God’s sake people, how much spare time do you have?

6. Scarcity of Cloth in India

Bollywood movies make me feel like there’s a scarcity of cloth in India. Female actors’ clothes seem to get less and less with every film. They even seem to have outdone Hollywood stars as their shorts have become shorter and saris blouses skimpier. Not to mention the vulgar dances in those tiny clothes. It amazes me that mothers today feel proud when their 5 year olds sing and dance to songs like Shiela ki Jawani. Whatever happened to parental control over vulgarity and obscenity?

7. Bollywood invasion over cable TV

There is nothing more frustrating than switching the channel only to discover Bollywood movies and songs on almost all channels. Quality channels like America Plus and Channel V International have been completely wiped out. Just recently my cable guy replaced a quality news channel with a Bollywood one.

8. Senseless lyrics

"This is the end, my only friend, the end, Hurts to set you free, But you’ll never follow me, The end of laughter and soft lies , The end of nights we tried to die"

Such were the lyrics of Jim Morrison. Gone are the days of Jim Morrison and Pink Floyd’s deep meaningful lyrics. Instead we listen to rubbish like:

"mein toh bhail puri kha raha tha, teri nani mari to mein kia karoon"

Our minds have become like empty boxes where we prefer listening to rubbish from Bollywood rather than appreciating deep poetry and lyrics.

9. Desperation of Pakistani Actors/Musicians to Work in Bollywood

Almost all our actors & musicians die to work in Bollywood movies. A well known underground band which used to mainly perform rock has now started performing commercial songs just so they can sell to bollywood movies. Why change who you are just to fit into Bollywood? Iman Ali who on one hand claims the Pakistan fashion industry is too modern for her, has also announced that she wants to work for Bollywood movies. Despite the criticism that Bol and Khuda Ke Liye received I feel they were a good effort, so why not focus your energies in our own industry and try to improve our own standards.

10. Bollywood Dances

Last but not least are the pelvic thrusts and chest bumping dances that are in no way sensual. Each main and supporting character of the film must have a minimum of 60-70 back-up dancers irrespective of their gender. Characters must for reasons unknown have their clothes changed during songs.

Nojeba Haider’s blog can be accessed at
http://blogs.thenews.com.pk/blogs/2012/01/03/10-things-i-hate-about-bollywood/