Sometimes it’s wonderful to hear from a long ago friend who has been out of touch, but then again, sometimes it isn’t. Not when several years have gone by and that person has been so disconnected from your friendship that they have no idea of what has transpired in your life and no idea that perhaps you have suffered some tragedy or loss; health crisis; divorce that maybe you’d rather not talk about just because it’s way too painful. Studies have proved that when we allow ourselves to dwell on painful, hurtful or traumatic memories from our past, it affects our immune system almost immediately and further, the immune function can drop for more than several hours leaving us wide open and vulnerable to any illness. We have to be responsible for what we use as conversation fillers. Think, before asking someone that you haven’t seen in awhile, questions that may dredge up something that they have moved painfully past into a hopefully brighter future. Don’t ask if they’ve seen their former spouse, especially if you know it was particularly difficult or fraught with severe challenges. Don’t ask or dredge up past medical problems. Keep the conversation in the present about what you’re doing now and ask them what they’re doing now. Find that common gold thread that first bound your friendship together in the first place. If they wish to tell you something from the past they will. I promise that if you stay out of other peoples pasts they’ll always be happy that you contacted them and they’ll remember to help you stay out of yours so you can continue onward in a healthy present and future. This falls under the category of the Second Principle of The Breath, outlined in Finding Shangri La: Seven Yoga Principles for Creating Success and Happiness. Believe………
Your question may be featured in next week’s column. Names withheld upon request.
Acharya Sri Khadi Madama is available for "Finding Shangri La" Workshops, Consulting and Coaching to help you apply these principles in your personal and professional life, based on the concepts in her book, Finding Shangri La: Seven Yoga Principles for Creating Success & Happiness, available at Barnes & Noble, Borders Books , Amazon.com and your favorite bookstore.
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