This article was last updated on June 18, 2022
A researcher has delved into the female psyche to uncover why women pursue men who are just not that into them. According to a Loyola University Health System relationship expert, women tend to ignore the signs that clearly indicate: “He’s just not that into you,” but try harder to change the man’s feelings.
“Many women believe that they will be able to change a man’s mind and persuade him to live happily ever after with her. However, women cannot change men. They can only change how they react to them in this scenario,” said Domeena Renshaw, MD, author of Seven Weeks to Better Sex and director, Loyola University Health System Sex Clinic.
Domeena insisted that low self-esteem also may be to blame for this phenomenon. “Women send signals that they do not value themselves, when they repeatedly engage in situations or relationships with men who are not interested,” said Domeena.
Women also may make excuses for unclear behaviour, because they feel strongly about these men and have not come to terms with the fact that their feelings are not mutual.
“I encourage women to concentrate on finding happiness within themselves rather than waiting for men to call or commit,” said Domeena. Society also encourages women to believe that their worth is measured by their ability to find and keep a man. Therefore, they ignore social customs, which say that males should pursue females.
“If women can learn to empower themselves, give themselves due credit and know when to walk away from a dysfunctional situation or relationship, it will free them up to meet someone who is genuinely interested. We should learn from experience and understand that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and recognition,” said Domeena.