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This article was last updated on April 16, 2022
Chunky and Chinky, the duo I have come to understand as my handlers, have done an adequate job of providing and caring for me in spite of irritatingly ‘ooing’ and ‘awing’ at every opportunity. I’ve also noticed a growing obsession over my poo! That’s all the two discuss when they’re with each other; the weight, colour and consistency. If you didn’t know better, you’d think they were talking about diamonds! They've even resorted to photographing me while I defecate claiming I have a 'Doody Face,' absurd I tell you! What's worse is that they now send pictures to one another of my soiled diapers! Perhaps this is how the chunky one wooed the chinky one?
This doody fixation was taken to another level when the chunky one began singing a song to me every time he cleaned my bum while over the sink. He calls it ‘The Doody Song’ (If I could facepalm, I would) and it goes like this;
‘Clean it good, do it right,
My neck, my back,
My pupdi and my crack.’
He calls it the 'P.Doody remix!' (facepalm facepalm facepalm).
I blame rap music…..particularly, Khia!
About the author:
Born in Africa, Chandru grew up between Nigeria, India and the UK. With a Masters in International Business from the University of Westminster, he moved to New York where he worked as a Business Development Manager for three years. In 2002, he returned to Nigeria where he currently resides and runs a trading company. Chandru has been writing for Beyond Sindh (www.beyondsindh.com) since 2004 and has published numerous articles in the quarterly publication. His story entitled ‘The Love Letter' won the Mirage Book short story contest and was published in an anthology titled Inner Voices in January 2009. His short story ‘Zero’ is scheduled to be published in the anthology Indian Voices towards the end of 2010.
In December 2009, Chandru’s first novel, ‘The Journey of Om’ was published in India by Cedar Books.